2009 Game 5: Southland Boys

REDS SECURE SECOND TOUR WIN AGAINST WHIPPER-SNAPPERS

Wednesday April 8

The Reds secured their second tour victory yesterday, winning a thriller against Southland Boys’ High School by just two wickets with only four balls to spare. Set a victory target of 151, the visitors endured some fiery short-pitched bowling and a late order collapse but managed to accumulate enough runs to take their tour tally to 2-3. Harry Martin was named Reds’ player of the match for his three valuable wickets and a match-winning knock at the death.

Steve Thompson came into the team as captain to exploit his knowledge of schoolboy thinking (or lack thereof) while ‘Cletus’ Palin, Alec Kahn and Jeffrey Scotland were also recalled after Sunday’s day of rest. But the Reds lost yet another toss, damn it, and found themselves condemned to a field smothered with lush rain-soaked grass that looked longer than Alec’s hair. Palin got the tourists off to a great start when he dismissed Otaga junior representative Brown with the very first ball of the match, the slips catch smartly held by Scotland, then he struck again just two overs later by bowling Lambeth. With Tim Cherry bowling tightly at the other end and Martin replacing Palin in the sixteenth over, the wickets soon began to tumble. Martin blew the Southland middle-order to the scheizenhausen with a tremendous over that included the wickets of O’Brien and Van Schaik in successive balls.

The only stumbling blocks for the Redders were the batting of Duffy, who defended well and occasionally hit lustily over the infield, and their own catching, which was again pretty damn unsexy. Palin and Cherry both spilt easy chances on the off-side while Nick Whittock failed to hang onto two difficult diving chances at slip. Luckily the Southland High middle-order was dealt with by Geoff Boyes, who once he found the appropriate length was too much for their young pubescent minds to deal with (in New Zealand in April a young man’s mind turns to thoughts of rugby and frolicking lambs, not to coping with wily old legspinners). Boyes picked up three handy wickets and Scotland and Taylor also chimed in with tidy spells at the end.

With the outfield drier and marginally faster the Reds bats were hopeful of success, however the Southland new-ball combo used pace and prodigious swing to good effect, with runs difficult to come by. Nick Whittock was caught behind early, earning himself the bright yellow sex-toy masquerading as a duck, before Cherry joined Kahn to resurrect the innings. They added 42 in reasonable time before both fell with the score at 62. Scotland began briskly and started doing to the bowlers what he’s been doing to hotel lavatories all over New Zealand. Like a cane-wielding headmaster Scotland gave the schoolboys a cricket lesson and kept the score ticking over, despite losing partners regularly at the other end. When he fell for Alec's age (57) the Reds were precariously placed at 8/135, still needing 16 for victory off about five overs.

Enter ‘Prince’ Harry Martin and Jason ‘Cornish Pastie’ Taylor, who assessed the situation well and collected singles and twos to take us within four runs of victory at the start of the last over. Martin bludgeoned the second ball down the ground, only to see it stop just short of the line, however a completely unnecessary slide by the Southland mid-off pushed the ball across the boundary for four runs. Victory for the tourists by two wickets and a 100% captaincy record for Thompson – suck on that, Alec and Hobbsy – although immediately after the game he was forced to fly home for disciplinary action family reasons. A brief ceremony and exchange of gifts followed, the tourists presented with a Southlands cap, tie and badge that will no doubt be worn by Alec when he does the gardening.

Today the Reds jump into their luxury five-star coach and make the trip to Dunedin, where Mrs Newburn has prepared 3,000 cheese rolls and a couple of hundred pavlovas (a New Zealand creation apparently). Their next fixture is against Celtic Cricket Club in Oamaru tomorrow, before a return to Christchurch – and a possible reunion with the multiculturally-minded Kev – awaits.

Match: Reds XI vs Southland Boys’ High School
Date: Tuesday April 7
Venue: Southland, Invercargill
Toss: Southland Boys’ High School
Weather: Fine early, drizzle later, 19 degrees
Pitch: Synthetic
Players of the match: R. Duffy (SBHS) H. Martin (Reds)