20 Reds Classics

20 Reds Classics

1979-80 round 8: Reds 148 & 1 19 d Fulham Wanderers 147.
A top-of-the-table clash against the two quickest bowlers in C Grade on a dangerous, pebbly asphalt pitch in Royal Park. Ken (29) played the original crusty innings, guiding ding to 3-74 before an express delivery c from a good length into his chin, then onto stumps. Barry Cousland (22) and Alan (21 *) slogged us to 148, including a hilarious wicket stand of 12 as Gatiss fought to Nadel off strike. It didn't seem enough on small fast ground as Fulham cruised to 2-72.the advent of our dual wrist-spin attack ch everything. Norling's legspin (2-34) rem their most dangerous bat, then Kahn's eccentric chinamen (6-44) cut a swathe through the lower order, lain Campbell marking two lofted sweeps on the square leg boundary. At 9-117, victory seemed assured, but the last pair hit sensibly aided by a crucial dropped catch (Tony!). With one run left, Kahn tried his a quicker ball ... a last throw of the dice in more senses than one. k thudded into the pads and Fulham's umpire, in an astonishing display of character, covered his eyes with his left hand as he lifted his right index finger to the heavens.

1980-81 grand final: Reds 129 & 210 d Royal Park 102 & 5-19.
Makeshift opener Tony Roberts(30) guided us to a 48 run opening stand, and we grafted our way to 5-125 before crumbling ignominiously. Royal Park had the game well in hand at 3-95 at tea on the second day. But an amazing collapse followed the interval. In 16.1 deadly accurate overs, Royal Park could score only a two and a single off the bat, plus 4 no-balls, while losing its last seven wickets. Dave Bowen s medium-pace legspin took 5-27, including 8.1-7-5-2 after tea, while Roberts' offcutters returned 3-19, including 8-7-2-I after tea. John Prent (75) led the way in putting the game out of reach, and Royal Park finished the game wishfully calling 'Give Groucho a bowl' from the sidelines in the hope that 159 consecutive wides from Nadel might give them the C Grade flag at around 8pm.

1981-82 grand final: 177 & 3-152 d Reds 156.
After a gripping two-wicket semi-final win over Ascot Vale, we faced the club that was to become our nemesis in the B Grade grand final. Royal had already beaten us twice with scores of 5-388 and 5-309 during the season. So we were delighted when Tony Roberts (4-38) removed the top three batsmen for 27, including their most brutal hitter Cliff Bastow to a bnlliant goalkeeper-style catch by Peter Tilley in the covers. Royal's tail recovered from 6-79 to 177, and we started our chase somewhat less than confidently, being 7-42 after 166 excruciating minutes. Our eighth wicket fell at 71, but after tea on the second day Dave Dunstan (65*) and Tony Roberts (23) began a remarkable rescue mission. Dunstan had six lives, including two snicks heard on the boundary and an apparent run-out. I won't say the umpires had it in for Royals, but as they left the ground at stumps with us 8-140, old Bill Tyler whispered to me 'I think we can win this one.' Sorry Bill, but we couldn't. A further fifty minutes of nail-biting tension on the last day saw us advance to 8-156. Then just as victory seemed within reach,Tony was caught behind and Dave Bower was clean-bowled by the next ball.

1982-83 round 3: Reds 5-264 d Nth Melb PAFS 8-dec-244.
Now in A Grade, we met the team everyone had warned us about -- a belligerent bunch of footballers named North Melbourne PAFS. Their captain was one-time champion North Melbourne full-forward John Dugdale, a foul-tempered character aptly described by NSCA president Joe Bastow as 'a pig of a man'.Their batting however had to be seen to be believed.... axe-murderers from 1 to 11. In the following season, they faced ten overs from us before stumps and clubbed 3-80, with the nightwatchman coming in minus pads in the last over to smash Tony Roberts over midwicket for four.In this our first meeting, we bowled and fielded superbly, but they still scored at six an over. Then they rather rashly declared, maybe figuring on an outright after seeing our first two scores in A grade of 116 and 9-104. A light appeal frustrated them at 1-12, but despite starting the second day with a couple of subs due to players off on footy trips, they had us defending desperately at drinks at 3-49.Then a bus pulled up, another two players left on footy trips, and two more subs hopped out of their cars to take the field. Reds captain Kahn drew the umpire's attention to an obscure rule in the NSCA handbook that limited teams to two substitutes. Dugdale exploded, the umpire ruefully upheld the point of law, and in a conciliatory gesture Kahn offered to let the extra subs field until tea and then discuss it. But Dugdale was beyond reason, and was not going to be patronised by a bunch of B Grade commie upstarts. 'Nah, fuck ya' he replied, and ordered the two bemused subs from the field. PAFS were not as good as Dugdale thought they were, and down two bowlers and two fieldsmen, they began to wilt in the 40 degree heat. Kahn (120*) and Dave Dunstan (80) pierced the field at will, and in two hours added 165 as the scoring shot up from two to five an over. We finished the game out-paffing PAFS as we took 20 from an over from a grey-haired legspinner who was about die from heatstroke. Big-hitting Peter Martin twice smashed him to the base of the Debney Park Housing Commission flats as sadistic Reds scorers called out 'Just keep going while we check the scores.'

1983-84 round 8: Brandon 6-363 d Reds 7-cc-354.
Described in our tenth anniversary booklet as our most galling defeat, this one still rankles. In a sun-scorched corner of Royal Park, Brandon marked the ground by taking their rope to the nearest obstacle, a low fence 45 yards away at square leg, and tracing a circle from there. It was sublime geometry but ridiculous for cricket. Kahn (157) and Paul Lyons (100) opened with 204 in 170 minutes .... an all-time club record partnership, but in hindsight a little too slow. Wright (44) joined Kahn to add 100 in an hour, making us I-304, and a slog in the last half-hour added a further 50.We felt pretty smug that week, and even smugger when Brandon were 3-43 after 12 overs. Then big fast bowler Glen Hibbert came to the wicket.Apart from a 91 before Christmas, he had never made a score before, and he never made one after. His main stroke was a fifty-yard loft in an arc from long-off to mid-wicket. On most cricket grounds on the planet it was a getout shot, but on this postage-stamp it was a matchwinner. His 173, the highest score ever made against us, included 10 sixes, of which five just cleared the hands of fielders hard up against the boundary. Brandon added 320 in 200 minutes and breezed past us with twelve overs to spare. It was a stunning defeat .... but little did we realise it was a taste of worse to come.

1984-85 round 8: Reds 5-cc-304 d Fitzroy Stars 203.
The one bright spot in a nightmare season. An utterly depleted Reds attack conceded scores of 6-412, 7-401 and 389,.... we suffered the biggest defeat in the club's history (277 runs) .... and clubs who in previous seasons had never got close now thrashed us. But in this game, we uncovered a bowler who was one of the few successes in our horror story of the late eighties.On a flying visit from Perth, Paul Lyons (99) reunited with Kahn (65) to guide us to an imposing first day total in a corner of Princes Park now devoted to carpark. Fitzroy Stars were well on the way to overhauling us at 3-160.Then Kim Hatcher, whose legbreaks were a source of amusement in the nets, had his first serious spell in four seasons with the Reds. Hatch bowled from the city end with Melbourne General Cemetery temptingly close by at square leg. Fitzroy's all-Aboriginal batting lineup could not resist our invitation to try to desecrate a white man's sacred site for a change. Jamie Croft took three catches on the boundary and Hatch finished with 7-43, confirming our socialist belief that anyone can be a decent cricketer once we create a world where mind-altering substances are distributed according to need.

1985-86 round 7: Yarra Pk 64 & 6-117 d Reds 138 & 2-dec-42.
Our first season in Mercantile. Many, like Kim Hatcher (5-30), would prefer to dwell on our 110 to 70 win over Stock ('They're all ordinaries! They're all ord - K.Middleton). But the historical demands otherwise.In fifth place in B Grade, we had a Xmas rematch with Yarra Park (then whose last man had beaten us with a four in round one. On a wet pitch, Wiseman (36) and Kahn (35) guided us creditable 138. Graeme Merry (5-29) Yarra Park apart with sheer speed, and only last pair got them past the follow-on. their one decent batsman went home at our captain whose name now eludes decided to go for an outright. To consternation of teammates and whoops delight from the opposition, he set a target 117 from 25 overs. His judgement seemed impeccable at 5-50, but he was let down by a keeper whose name also eludes me (as did two stampings off Dave Bowen). A fifty partnership took the score to 6-105, and an exhausted Graeme Merry was asked to bowl the final over. Yarra Park secretary Brenton 'Sparky' Smith surpassed his first round heroics, hooking the first ball for six, snicking a two, then hoicking another four with two balls to spare. The outright proved fatal, with Yarra Park eventually squeezing us out of the finals by two points due to this eight-point turn-around.

1986-87 round 6: Reds 7-125 d Gunbower 122.
Impressed by the way we missed the finals, the MCA promoted us to A grade so we could do it on a regular basis. We lost every game, except this one against our fellow-wankers. Beating Gunbower was no mean feat.They had killed us twice back in NSCA A grade, and in B Turf the previous year their seconds beat us by 7 wickets. They had all their big names -- Kelly, Flynn, Keech, McNamara, Langham. But Graeme Merry produced his finest spell (11-7-4-8) to destroy them, aided by Dave Bowen (2-33) and a golliwog (2-31). Tony Roberts (19) gave us an unusually solid start, Kahn (47*) and Michael Burke (19) took us to 3-89, and even the mandatory middle-order collapse could not deny us this time.

1988 round 2: Reds 100 tied Swan 100.
The same bunch of 98-pound weaklings spent another season getting sand kicked in their faces in A Grade. But on Sundays, it was a different story. Charles Atlas came in the guise of Geoff Boyes, a prodigious legspinner from Monash (and later South Melbourne Seconds), who we roped in via our indoor team, the Eddie Gilbert Octet. On a typically damp No.5 track, Geoff (5-30) and Jamie Croft (2-29) destroyed Prudential/Swan/APF, a club whose name changed every year with their sponsor. We set out confidently in pursuit at 3-42, a little less so at 9-54. Then Geoff (40*) and Graeme Merry (12) staged an electrifying last-wicket fightback. Graeme held up an end for 13 overs, tapping singles while Geoff smashed fours into the trees over cover.With one ball left, we were 9-98.A lifter hit Graeme and fell at his feet. Geoff bolted through for a single, then bat still in crease, called Graeme back up the pitch as the keeper picked up the ball. Geoff took off as the keeper's throw lobbed down the pitch, the mid-off panicked and missed the ball completely at the bowler's end, and with scores now tied, Graeme came haring back for a third as the ball was retrieved from the now-vacant mid-off. He seemed to make it safely, but Old Tommy somehow got himself into the only position where an umpire couldn't see clearly, ie between Graeme and the stumps, and shot his finger up as soon as the wicket was broken. Even so, we were the only ones laughing in this comedy of errors, as Swan's prima donna all-rounder, the odious Tony Cornwill, came storming off in fury at the incompetence of his team-mates.Remarkably, Geoff bowled us to another tie later in the season, taking 5-41 against Southern Teachers to dismiss them for 89. lain Campbell finished the game with a reflex catch off Geoff that the rest of us still marvel at, diving full-length from short leg and hyperextending his arm to grasp the number eleven's backfoot prod as it squirted down at his feet.

1988-89 round 3: Reds 8-cc-150 d Southern Teachers 108.
This was a trying season. We were more competitive, yet still only won two games, struggled to field eleven players and seriously contemplated disbanding. In this match, ten Reds took on nine Southern Teachers in a one-layer on Cordner. Batting first on a sporty pitch, we exploited our huge numerical advantage, Kahn (59) for once lofting the ball and Prent (32) for once keeping it on the ground. Our opponents' big name batsmen punished our wayward newball attack, and tension mounted as they reached I-79 from 24 of their 42 overs. Kim Hatcher's legspin (3-27) and Dick Williams' offbreaks (328) turned the game, getting both openers stumped and producing a collapse we previously thought only ourselves capable of.

1989-90 round 9: Reds 8-cc-204 d APF 196.
The turning point in the club's history. Despite an influx of talent -- Jim Todd, Max Pollock, Doc Newton, Drew Carling-- we were caught on a succession of soft tracks and started with six losses, five by narrow margins. Then Dave Dunstan (93) played the Innings that Changed Reds' History. In an awful season for batsmen, it won the trophy for the MCA's highest score. More importantly, it set up our first decent total against good bowling and changed our view of what we could do with the bat. (Sadly, the trophy was much tinnier than Dave's knock and fell apart before I could pass it on to him.)Even so, another loss loomed when APF reached 6-192 with Kneale batting superbly on 54. Then Gareth Owen took the Catch That Changed Reds History. Kneale crashed a long hop from Max Pollock over Gareth's head at short mid-wicket towards the close boundary on No.3. Instead of ducking, Gareth flung his hand up, parried the ball, then somehow twisted and dived backwards to grab a brilliant onehanded catch inches from the turf. Inspired, we stranded a big-hitter at the other end and Max (6-35) finished APF off with three wickets in four balls.The win galvanised us and we were undefeated after Xmas. Out of the blue, the MCA kindly awarded us two pre-Christmas matches for superior secretarial skills (our opponents had unregistered players) and for the first time ever, we were A grade finalists.

1990-91 grand final: Reds 242 & 76 tied Yarra Park 121 & 197.
The most discussed, controversial and traumatic Reds game ever.Just getting there was a tale in itself. With two rounds to go, we were 16 points out of the four.We grabbed a miraculous outright against Prahran Imperials (see Games We Couldn't Win), beat API in the last round to steal fourth place from them by .02 percent, then scored our first-ever win over Coles in a semi-final reduced to a one-day match.We started the grand final on a high and Simon Roberts (5-30) and Peter Bickle (3-49), backed by brilliant catching, ran through Yarra Park on the first day.Tim Powell (86) and Drew Carling (52) took us to the lead with only three down, and a fifty stand by Jim Todd (31) and Peter Bickle (29) late on day two had us 8230 at stumps.Rain at the start of the second weekend's play made Yarra Park's position even worse. They threw the bat, got a couple of lucky breaks from the umpires, and despite Peter Bickle (7-75) hit their way to a 76 lead. We slumped to 3-19,but Doc Newton (26) took us to 3-49 and Yarra Park's scorer went home in despair.Then we slumped to 6-55, recovered to 6-70, and stumbled again to 8-72. Our ninth wicket pair levelled the scores. With the field up, Mike Langley was hit high on the thighpad by a lifter, and we took the winning run down to fine Ieg.Yarra Park appealed despairingly, and as Mike completed the run and we ran onto the field in triumph, umpire Joe Sarteschi lifted his finger. Square leg umpire Tommy Thoburn shook his head in amazement and later confirmed to us that 'that ball was going six inches over the stumps'. Three balls later Simon Roberts snicked onto his pad and was also ruled LBW by Joe. The game was tied and as the higher-placed side, Yarra Park were premiers. Reds players were still receiving counselling months later.

1991-92 grand final: Reds 65 & 161 d API 62 & 127.
Our first-ever A grade flag, won with superb bowling, a remarkable individual innings and the most brilliant fielding performance from a Reds side.Sent in on a nasty wet track, we crashed to 4-11. Kahn (20) and Ross Attrill(19) struggled to 4-50 at tea, then we crashed again to 65 in a nightmarish 59.2 overs. Our bowlers, led by Bickle (5-31) and Attrill (4-18), were relentless in reply, and we backed them up with flawless catching. Tim Powell took a blinder at silly mid-on similar to Gareth Owen's own effort two seasons earlier and Simon Gauntlett held three terrific reflex catches at slip.API got to 7-62, but Kahn flung himself goalie-style to hold a pull from thier topscorer at deep midwicket and the last three wickets fell without addition.API struck back on day three to have us 6-59, before Tim Powell (80) launched a thrilling counter-attack. In a match where scoring was a grim 20 an hour, the next 80 minutes saw him add 34 with Jim Todd (14) and then a record 64 for the eighth wicket with Bickle (29).API needed 165 in the best batting conditions of the match. They got to 0-33, Roberts (3-21) and Bickle (3-42) pegged them back to 4-64, but their best two bats, Misurelli and Winterling, looked set at 4-95. Then Max Pollock (3-21) beat Misurelli in flight, the ball shot through along the ground from the toe of the bat, and Todd made a brilliant pickup and stumping in the one action. Next ball, Doc Newton launched himself from mid-off to take an inspirational airborne catch to his right. When Winterling holed out on the boundary at 117, we were home, and fittingly the last man fell to another superb reflex catch by Gauntlett deflected from the gully. All in all, we had 19 chances for the game (a stumping, a run-out and 17 catches) and didn't miss one of them. Four including the stumping were absolute blinders and another six were difficult reflex catches close in.Truly we had proved theTony Liberatore dictum that 'scratches win matches'.

92-93 semi-final: 7-181 d Yarra Park 180.
Yarra Park tried to bat us out of game, but collapsed dramatically in the last of day one from 2-116 to 8-124. Spinners Pollock (26-10-4-30) and Ross Attrill (30 1141-4-51) were superb. The tail recovered to 180, and Reds struggled to 3-47 in 26 overs. Then Matt McCaughey (67) and Tim Powell (50) launched a breathtaking assault, blazing I I I off the next 16 overs. McCaughey, who won the MCA A Grade batting that season, played an innings with strong Oedipal overtones, raining sixes around his father who was seated (naturally) at the National Gallery end of No.l. His 67 included 6 sixes and no fours, illustrating his philosophy that 'Fours are for wimps'.1993-94 round 2: Reds 9-110 d Coles 96. Our only win at Righetti, our favourite ground, and the start of a beautiful friendship. Mike Langley (4-16) blitzed Coles' top order. Reds slumped to a horrific 5-9, then 6-35, in reply. But Mark 'Chief Freeman (46) and Jim Todd (25) staged a gripping late-order recovery to add 65. While they staunchly defended against Coles' bowling, off the field Simon Roberts staunchly defended the right to free speech -- particularly the right to shout 'Fuck off Rowdy' in close vicinity to Bill Leane's wife. Righteous indignation and demands for written apologies followed.The goodwill carried over to the return game. Coles fielders shouted fake calls to confuse our batsmen, causing a crucial runout as Reds crashed from 5-165 to all out 170 in pursuit of 173. Captains Pollock and Leane were restrained from coming to blows after the game, and Leane got two matches for spitting at Simon Roberts who had declined to shake hands as the players left the ground.

1994-95 round 1: Reds 194 d Coles 170.
Kahn (60) and Bill O'Brien (26) steered us to 3134, Kahn surviving 190 minutes and almost as many sledges of 'Red ink man' from Rowdy Heller. The mandatory middle order collapse made us 7-135 before Mike Langley (26) led a stirring last-hour revival to post a competitive 194. Coles looked to have no problems at 2100, but Drew Ball (6-45) came back after tea for the quickest spell ever seen from a Reds fast bowler. Drew took 5-9 and smashed the stumps of three batsmen in six brutal overs as Coles slumped to 7-116. Intelligent batting from the tail took Coles to 170, and with tension mounting Drew struck one last time. Scott Buchanan applied the final flourish, hurling himself wide from slip to take a brilliant airborne catch.

1995-96 round 9: Old Hail 113 & 2-61 d Reds 117 & 5-dec-68.
The worst performance in the club's history. Lowly-ranked and seriously depleted, Old Haileybury took the field with only two frontline bowlers and their captain desperately ringing around for a tenth player. Reds, with eight recognised batsmen, promptly slumped to 5-14. Max Pollock (52) and Greg Scealy (27) saved us from utter humiliation, and Haileybury, with only four regular batsmen, crashed to 5-12 before stumps. On the second day, the last two serious batsmen added 75, but at 9-109 both were gone and Simon Roberts (7-44) was bowling beautifully. However Reds captain Jim Todd, in a fit of insanity, had allowed Haileybury to change their eleventh player on day two when told that the rabbit they had named in absentia on day one had 'injured himself at work'.The replacement ('he's no good') turned out to be their regular opener, who calmly steered them to victory and then nearly slogged them to an outright when we made a pathetic attempt to salvage some points from the debacle.

1996-97 round 10: Reds 8-cc-118 d Yarra Park 199.
An utterly absorbing game. Roberts (36 wickets and winner of the competition's bowling trophy), Bickle (40 wickets) and Attrill (28 wickets) had great seasons, but all three were missing for this game. Ian Miller (43) and Bill O'Brien (27) produced their fifth forty-plus opening stand for the season, and Kahn (49), Paul Grotegoed (31) and Wayne Ludbey (21*) made sure it was not wasted.After a slow start, Yarra Park took to our second-string attack and looked ominous at tea at 0-88. A tight 17-over spell from legspinner Scealy (I -44) altered the tempo and captured the key wicket of Thompson. At 3-137, Yarra Park made its dash for victory in the final 17 overs. With six overs to play, they needed 32 with three wickets in hand and a hitter well set. But medium pacers Stewart Burke (4-57) and Grotegoed (4-51) held their nerve and their line, Grotegoed skittling the danger man and Burke bowling unchanged through the final session to see us home.

1997-98 round 3: Reds 4-203 d NAB 6-cc-187.
The infamous 'middle peg' game. Umpire Peter Nicholson turned down an obvious snick from Simon Roberts' bowling early on, maybe thinking the ball pitched after contact. After childish griping from the bowler for a few overs, the game settled down. But after 15 minutes of calm, the umpire suddenly exclaimed 'I don't have to take this!', kicked out the middle stump, and stormed off, roundly abusing this writer who foolishly tried to reason with him.Five minutes of confusion followed, then the game resumed with players doing the umpiring. NAB's openers added 100, then Ross Attrill (573) claimed the first of five five-wicket hauls for the season to make it 6-149.A late recovery set us a formidable target from 45 overs strong bowling side.Our new left-handed opening pair. brothers Steve (53) and Mike (39), pr 102-run stand on debut. But we still needed off the last 13 overs. Jeremy King (58*) and Grotegoed (28) did it in 10.4 overs, with the runs coming in sixes. King contempuous lofted the inswingers of our past d Cutler into the trees on No.3's short boundary on four occasions.

1998-99 round 3: Reds 9-97 d Powerhouse 82.
On a rain-affected Cordner wicket Ross (6-16) destroyed Powerhouse en route to a wicket season. The six wickets took Ross's record in the last five Powerhouse games to amazing 26 for 147.We batted abysmally in reply, and at 9-60 seemed to have blown a certain win when Simon Roberts joined Jim Todd. Simon survived the final three balls of the over, and then Jim (30*) turned on a virtuoso display of farming the strike. Over the next 5.2 overs until victory was secured, he faced 30 of the 32 balls, taking twos early in most overs.At the end of the first two overs, Jim worked sharp singles to keep the strike. Then when the field came in to prevent singles, he exploited the long boundaries by lofting threes late in each of the next three overs. Fittingly, Jim won the game with another three, after which Simon (7*) attempted to prove it had all been unnecessary anyway.