Hall of Fame and Shame

Reds Hall of Fame and Shame

Flukiest catch
Tony Roberts, fielding at short mid-wicket, turned his back on a full-blooded pull and caught the ball in the rear of his arm-pit... Max Pollock juggled an outfield catch against Gunbower, eventually grasping it with both hands behind his back after it bounced over his shoulder... honourable mention to Venn King who fell flat on his face while juggling a chance, the ball rolling around on his back but spilling to ground before Ken Norling and Bill O'Brien could get to him.

Flukiest opponent
No contest here. Hack medium-pacer Neville Walsh came out to bat back in 1982-83 with Druids 5-29 and Reds bowling brilliantly. Walsh had never made more than 48 in his life. Swinging wildly across the line almost every delivery, he scored 132 of the next 149 runs, including six sixes and 20 fours.That was it ...he never came close to a decent score again.

Most injury-prone Red
Has to be Iain 'Flash' Campbell who missed most of most seasons -- notably when, with his first touch in round one, he held the catch, split his webbing and broke a finger, and did not reappear until after Xmas. Most injury-inviting was Dave Bowen, who developed the weird habit of blocking drives while he was bowling by putting both legs together and pushing his knees towards the ball. It looked painful and it was - especially when a well-struck drive smashed his tibia. Most horrific injury was to Dave Nadel in our first season. Dave stopped a full-blooded drive in the face and seemed to have taken a freak catch. Then the ball popped out and we realised it was an eye full of shattered glass he was holding. No permanent damage, thankfully, but he spent a week in hospital.

Best Pre-season
Was by fast bowler Graeme Merry in 87-88. Not seen at a single practice. Worried captain Tony Roberts when he called around at midnight Friday to confirm his strike bowler was OK for round one. At the toss, he hadn't arrived. At 12.55pm he came scurrying across No. 1 and threw on his whites. With everyone in position and waiting, he ran on to open the attack. His first ball in seven months was to Coles Myer's Greg Irvine, the top batsman in A Grade who'd smashed a century off us the previous season.
Graeme's first two balls were dot balls. His third was a perfect outswinger that had Irvine dropped at second slip and went for two. After another dot ball, he spreadeagled Irvine's stumps with a yorker.The heavens opened, the match was abandoned, and ten puzzled Reds were left wondering why the hell we had wasted six weeks training.

Worst umpire
No, not Terry. There was Janet in our first season, who began by walking down the pitch to warn the batsman that if he padded up again to balls swinging away outside off stump she would give him out LBW. Then she gave six batsmen out leg-before to shockers (one off the middle of the bat who we recalled) .... and confided at the end of the day that 'I gave them out because when the fieldsmen appealed, I had to assume they were honest appeals.' There was Alan Ward, banished by the MCA to the lifeless synthetic pitch because of his obsession with short-pitched bowling. It made no difference. He began our game vs Stock Exchange by drawing both captains aside, taking out a newspaper picture of a batsman being felled by a Jeff Thomson bouncer, and declaring that this sort of thing had to be stopped.Which he proceeded to do by no-balling Simon Roberts for bowling waist high long hops. Sacked after this game, he was last heard of when his MP wrote to the MCA pleading for his reinstatement. And there was Martin Skilbeck, who complained bitterly that the groundsman had forgotten to put in the stump holes ... until it was pointed out to him that he was trying to put the stumps in the popping crease. In the same game he signalled one short ... when the batsmen had taken a single.

Most frightening bowler
For a while was Robbie Thornton of Kensington. Brutal pace on the mats, though you could score quite quickly due to balls steepling over the keeper or wide of him. Then we met Peter Knight. A very quick psychopath who had just come from District Seconds to coach East Malvern's VTCA seniors, he doubled up on Sundays in Mercantile to terrorize C Grade batsmen. We faced him at East Malvern on a 'pitch' cut half on the wicket square and half off it. Despised even by his team-mates, who applauded when a Yarra Park batsman smashed a full-blooded pull into him at short leg. Caused MCA rules to be changed for several years to ban VTCA players.

Most demoralising batsman
Definitely Cliff Bastow of Royal. If people thought Damien Yze of Old Haileybury was demoralising, Bastow batted the same way against us for four seasons in a row for scores of 91, 113no, 8, 65, 53, 57. All made at better than run-a-minute with cold grey murderer's eyes. (Yze, however, has the honour of the most demoralising stroke -- a reverse sweep for four on Cordner off Ross Attrill.)

Most obnoxious opponents
On the mats, North Melbourne PAFS took some beating -- they even sledged while they were batting ('Don't worry, these guys can't catch' ....'What are you appealing for? How can you see from there?'). Coles Myer are the alltime greats though. Snide comments after every ball from 1.00pm onwards. Usually from two or three of them, in a running competition to outdo each other. Had their greatest day when they beat us using fake calls of 'Yes' and 'No' to confuse the batsmen. One way to silence the Coles Wall of Sound was a 100 partnership (50 gave only temporary relief). Mick Cave had another approach, marching from the crease to first slip and threatening to 'wrap this fucking bat around your head if I hear another word out of you'.

Most antagonistic opponent (individual)
Yes, Peter Knight has his claims. So does Greg 'Rowdy' Heller of Coles, with that sneering voice that makes 'Got the time, mate?' sound like a challenge to a fight. The late great Ted Haberman -- Ted Nazi -- came back to Naughtons to continue accusing Iain Campbell of being 'a chucker and a cheat', then launched his considerable bulk across the table when Flash told him to 'clear off, you fat pig'. Glenn Fawcett's non-stop barrage of sarcastic contempt from short leg as we batted for a draw in a semi against Yarra Park ('These guys are a joke... none of them can bat for five hours) infuriated Tim Powell so much he tried to decapitate Fawcett by smashing a good length delivery straight at his head (an unbelievable shot, but unfortunately it produced no blood, only four runs and the comment from Fawcett as he climbed to his feet 'Yeah, that takes a lot of guts, hitting a ball at a fieldsman'). But the title must go to Bill Leane of Coles. There was the year he weaselled a draw by convincing the umpire it was too wet for play even when the pitch was starting to crack.Then the next year, when he said 'Drinks on the hour?', we nodded, and he took the umpire off for a second drink at 3.00pm, 15 minutes before tea, to break our batsmen's concentration. Then the next year when he demanded a written apology from us because his wife got into a childish row with Simon and Max. And the next year, when he spat at Simon for not shaking his hand. And the next year, when he came out to umpire at square leg and caused a riot by ruling 'no catch' on a crucial decision ... then reported us all, resulting in both clubs playing to this day under threat of expulsion for any repeat performance.

Shiftiest opponents
Apart from Coles, Old Haileybury always need watching. They conned Jim Todd into letting them change a player mid-game (see 20 Reds Classics), then pulled the same stunt against Crockham Hill, the ring-in that time making 80. Yarra Park made 296 against them at Keysborough, then turned up in perfect weather the next week to find 'the sprinklers were left on'.

Most brilliant innings
Probably Tim Powell with his 80 in the 1991-92 grand final (See 20 Reds Classics), but Mark freeman goes close. On a rain-affected pitch, with wickets tumbling in every game (B Grade all out for 5 on the next ground) Reds crawled to 3-16 off 22 overs in impossible conditions for one-day batting. The the Chief cut loose, murdering anything the slightest bit short off the back foot, and raced to 86* while Max Pollock looked on in amazement at the other end. Matt McCaughey's 67 to win the 92-93 semi (See 20 Reds Classics) also rates a mention. In B Grade, there's no contest -- Tim Powell 145* to steer Reds from 7-55 to 8-216 and victory against top side Old Haileybury in the final round (and it was his first bat for the seaon, with no practice!) In C Grade, Matt McCaughey 178 against North Carlton is scarcely diminished by the opposition having 8 players, since 102 came in sixes. Also in contention is Simon Wood 59* in 17 balls against NAB last season -- after playing himself in with 25 off the first 11, Woody smashed 34 off the last over. In the matting era, John Prent 105 against a sharp Brandon attack is generally agreed to be the greatest. From 20 in an hour, the volatile Prent raced to 105 in another hour after a bumper knocked off his glasses and there was a dispute about overthrows. Trevor Fleming 89* to win a semi-final in a day and 63 (retired to go to a wedding) -- in which he spent the last 15 minutes slogging fours and apologising to the bowlers that he was trying to get out -- were also memorable.